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Self Sabotage in Addiction and Recovery

  • May 13, 2018
  • 12 min read

Updated: Nov 13

Self Sabotage in Addiction and Recovery

You got this. Feeling like you're fighting yourself in recovery is incredibly common. We understand the cycle of self sabotage in recovery and have broken down the specific behaviors, from isolating yourself to refusing help, that actively undermine your sobriety. Understanding these patterns is the first powerful step to gaining control and securing your hard-won progress.


How does self-sabotage show up in addiction recovery?

Self-sabotage shows up as behaviors that directly harm your progress and increase relapse risk. This includes having negative thoughts, actively isolating yourself from support systems, making the mistake of refusing help when it's offered, and returning to old habits or high-risk environments. These actions undermine your sobriety even when you know they may cause harm.


We have compiled a complete, actionable guide to help you identify the subtle and obvious ways you engage in self sabotaging behaviors, including why this behavior happens and effective strategies to build self-belief and a strong, supportive recovery structure. Keep reading to learn exactly how to stop getting in your own way and solidify your future.


Table of Contents

  • What Self-Sabotage Means in Addiction Recovery

  • Identifying Self-Sabotage: Actions That Undermine Your Progress

  • Common Ways You Can Self-Sabotage

    • The Danger of Negative Thoughts

    • Why an Unhealthy Lifestyle is Risky

    • The Trap of Staying Isolated

    • The Mistake of Refusing Help

    • Breaking Destructive Thought Patterns

    • Managing Stress and Preventing Relapse

    • Overcoming the Seduction of Self-Pity

  • Post-Treatment Self-Sabotage: The Hidden Pitfalls

  • Understanding Why People Self-Sabotage

    • Fear of Success and Failure

    • The Comfort of the Known

    • Low Self-Worth

  • Knowing the Signs and How to Prevent Them

    • The Power of Support

    • Small Steps, Big Impact: Daily Inventory

    • Building Belief in Yourself

    • Zapping Your Fears

    • The Importance of Surrender

    • Embracing Humility in Recovery

  • Stepping Away From Self-Harm

  • Getting Professional Help

  • Frequently Asked Questions


Stop Getting In Your Own Way: A Deep Dive into Self Sabotage in Recovery

It is common to feel like you are your own worst enemy when trying to overcome addiction. The cycle of self-sabotage can be frustrating. It can even derail your progress. If you are struggling with this, know that you are not alone. There are concrete steps you can take to stop getting in your own way. We are here to help you identify the behaviors that are holding you back. We will provide practical strategies to move forward.


Self sabotage in recovery is when you engage in self sabotaging behaviors that harm your progress. This can include negative thoughts, isolating yourself, refusing help, or returning to old habits and environments. All of these put your sobriety at risk. They can lead to relapse.


There is much more to explore about recognizing and preventing self-sabotage. Keep reading to learn about the common ways this behavior manifests. We will also cover effective strategies to build self-belief and a strong support system. This is crucial for long-term recovery.


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What Self-Sabotage Means in Addiction Recovery

Are you your worst enemy in the recovery process? Do you self-sabotage your sobriety and not even realize it? If so, it is time to make sure you are not in the habit of self-sabotage. Your recovery could be in danger. When you are addicted, the pattern of self-sabotage can be a repetitive cycle. You need to understand that addiction in itself is a type of self-sabotage that addicts have mastered.


Rather than dealing with negative emotions and situations rationally, the person turns to alcohol and drugs. This is an easy escape from their problems. This leads to a bigger issue altogether.

We blame many factors for addiction. We blame unhappy childhoods, peer pressure, or bad therapies. But what is the worst enemy of addiction recovery?


Most people think it is the alcohol or drug itself that is the major part of the addiction. But there is a more devious adversary. That is yourself when you indulge in self-sabotage.


Identifying Self-Sabotage: Actions That Undermine Your Progress

Self-sabotage can take place in different situations. It applies to various scenarios. The basic idea is that self-sabotage is a damaging form of behavior. It holds an individual back from their progress.

It can damage their relationships. It can delay or completely stop their recovery forward motion. It can create diverging and destructive activities. In some cases, this self-sabotage occurs simply because of carelessness or recklessness.


It could be due to a person's confusion. It might be due to their misunderstanding or underestimating the facts. There are even some people who self-sabotage on purpose. This negative and destructive behavior might bring them the attention they want. They bathe in self-pity, insecurity, or fear.


There are a lot of instances where self-sabotage can occur. However, the general motives remain the same. These instances are when an individual is trying to damage some part of their life. This is particularly true in certain aspects of life like emotional relationships, health, career, and finances.


Though most of us have heard of "self-sabotage," and many of us understand what it means, it is crucial to have a clear idea of what it means when we talk of developing drug addiction or alcoholism.

First, understand the concept. Know what behavior to expect from a person who self-sabotages herself or himself in the addiction and recovery process.


The term "self-sabotage" means the deliberate damage, obstruction, or destruction of different aspects of one's life. It has a similar meaning to the word self-damage. So, this involves people behaving in ways where they cause harm to themselves. These are behaviors, thoughts, or actions that interfere with progress and increase the risk of relapse. They are actions or patterns that undermine your recovery efforts, even when you know they may cause harm.


Common Ways You Can Self-Sabotage

There are many ways in which you may engage in self sabotaging behaviors. Have a look at some of the common things a person can do. Check yourself and keep track of the things you find yourself doing. Try to overcome them if you want to stop punishing or harming yourself.


The Danger of Negative Thoughts

Addicts generally pile self-judgment or self-abuse on themselves on a regular basis. Such a kind of negative behavior is a way to sabotage your whole recovery process.


Thinking negatively or giving up and feeling like you will never recover from this difficult phase can lead to depression. This results in taking you way off track of your attempts at addiction recovery. These are the kinds of destructive thoughts that feed the cycle.


Why an Unhealthy Lifestyle is Risky

An unhealthy lifestyle generally leads to an unhealthy mindset. This leads to negative thoughts, bad behavior, and depression. It is very important that, when you are in addiction recovery, you eat healthy and nutritious foods and exercise on a regular basis. Keeping a healthy diet and eating healthy foods will help you keep your behavior and thoughts positive. Neglecting your physical health is a quiet form of self sabotage in recovery.


The Trap of Staying Isolated

Isolation feeds depression, stress, and loneliness. That leads to relapse. It is therefore crucial that you reach out to your family and friends or some support groups to help you through addiction recovery.


Being lonely increases the likelihood that you will go back to negative thoughts. As most addicts know, the last thing that they want to do is to face the public around them. However, isolation only fuels loneliness and stress. It increases the occurrence of the addictive behavior.


Rather than shutting yourself away from others, it is important to get involved and take help from friends, family, or support groups. This is one of the most common self sabotage behaviors.


The Mistake of Refusing Help

Addicts generally withdraw into themselves and push away their family and friends. This results in a lack of an available support system in case something should go wrong in their life. It is crucial to make family and friends an important part of your total recovery process. When you refuse to take help or reach out to others, you are setting up for failure. This is a clear intentional action (or inaction) that undermines people's progress.


Breaking Destructive Thought Patterns

It is imperative to break destructive behaviors and patterns that were part of the addiction. These thoughts can trigger relapse when not properly identified. This is a key focus for successful overcoming self-sabotage in recovery.


Managing Stress and Preventing Relapse

Almost every single person in the universe experiences stresses in some way or the other. But people who struggle with the problem of addiction also abnormally struggle with the problem of stress.


Understanding that complete recovery is a huge thing in itself. It is only the first step to restore balance in life. Returning to your work, relations, and finances can be truly stressful. For this, a lot of people, mainly in the early phases of recovery, resort to substance abuse and self-sabotage.


Overcoming the Seduction of Self-Pity

Self-pity magnifies and expands the problem. Thinking about “why this is happening to me” or “what did I do to deserve this” is pure self-pity. The problem with self-pity is that it robs you of all motivation and anticipation. It leads to hopelessness, despair, and often leads to resentment.


Rather than taking any responsibility, self-pity then becomes a means to justify feeling bad about yourself and not taking any positive action.


An individual, when under the spell of some addictive substance, can ruin their recovery and chances for success simply by giving in to the easy seduction of self-pity.


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Post-Treatment Self-Sabotage: The Hidden Pitfalls

After coming out of rehab, a person should rebuild their life from the ground up. They have to cut the ties with those who are into substance abuse. They must avoid places they associate with abuse. They need to make sure they do not get in situations that jeopardize their sobriety.


But many sabotage their recovery. They continue to have contact with substance abusers. They put themselves in questionable areas. This places their sobriety at risk. These are actions or patterns that undermine your recovery efforts. There are obvious ways you can engage in self sabotaging behaviors. But there are less obvious ways as well:

Any of these behaviors, when left unchecked, can result in relapse.


Understanding Why People Self-Sabotage

The question remains, why do people self sabotage in recovery? This baffling behavior often stems from deep-seated psychological issues. It is not about a conscious desire to fail. It is often an unconscious attempt to manage internal conflict and emotional pain.


Fear of Success and Failure

Many people who experience addiction also deal with a fear of failure. They might feel safer in the familiar pattern of addiction. Failure in sobriety confirms their negative self-image. Success, however, brings a new set of expectations and pressures. The fear of success is real. It involves a fear of the unknown, of increased visibility, or of not being able to sustain the achievement. This fear can lead to unconscious sabotage.


The Comfort of the Known

Addiction offers a twisted sense of comfort and predictability. The process of getting high, the crash, the shame, and the return to the substance is a well-known cycle. Recovery is completely new territory. Even though the old path was painful, it was known. People sometimes self-sabotage to return to the familiar comfort of their addiction, even if it is destructive. They return to the known pattern of behaviors.


Low Self-Worth

A core component of chronic self sabotage in recovery is low self-worth. If a person does not believe they deserve a good life, a successful recovery, or happiness, they will unconsciously act to confirm that belief. They may think, "If I succeed, it will prove I was wrong about myself." The self-sabotaging behavior acts as a psychological protector, keeping them from a success they feel unworthy of.


Knowing the Signs and How to Prevent Them

Sabotaging behavior should not derail your addiction recovery process. When such behavior comes up, it can be handled in a way that does not destroy what you have been working towards. One of the biggest defenses against such a situation is the support you get.


The Power of Support

Support from your family members, friends, or counselors may be of great help to yourself in your recovery. People who care about you will be the first to point out the behavior that is not in your best interest.


This advice is not always easy to hear. But being open to feedback can greatly help you to recognize your self-sabotage behavior. It will get you back on the right track. This is essential for understanding how to help someone who self-sabotages.


Small Steps, Big Impact: Daily Inventory

Daily inventory is another useful tool that helps you to identify sabotage behavior before it goes out of control. Many people use a process like a daily journal. They track their decisions, thoughts, and feelings. They check for early signs of problematic behaviors.


It is generally these small decisions that can add up. They can make it unmanageable for you to control your life later on. Nipping such attitude in the bud can make a big difference. This is a practical step for overcoming self-sabotage in recovery.


Building Belief in Yourself

One of the main keys to overcoming self-sabotage in recovery is to improve the level of belief in yourself. You can easily do so by developing self-compassion for yourself. Use techniques like self-love, self-kindness, and meditation. Working with a professional therapist can help you to realize the level of life you deserve. Educating and believing in yourself can get you out of any problem. Self-sabotage is one of them.


Zapping Your Fears

Relax and imagine what it would be like to have what you wished for. Imagine achieving your goals.

As you do this, write down the negative feelings and any fears or negative thoughts that you have. When you do imagine yourself getting back to normal, what thoughts generally come up?

Do you think of yourself indulging in boring workouts? Do you fear getting extra and unwanted attention from others? Do you think that your friends or family or spouse will make fun of you?

The key to eradicating self-sabotage lies in zapping the fears and unrealistic thoughts that you create in your mind. This is a core strategy for how to quit self sabotaging.


The Importance of Surrender

It is very important to surrender. You need to surrender not just to the idea that you have a problem of addiction. You even need to surrender to the thought that you cannot fix it on your own. You will need some professional help. Professional addiction therapists and counselors can help you come out of the self-sabotage thinking and behavior. They can lead you towards the recovery process.


Embracing Humility in Recovery

Another important key to avoiding self-sabotage is to have a humble approach towards recovery. Being humble means that you need to develop right behavior and attitude when it comes to learning about addiction recovery. It is about understanding how it can be applied in your life. Humility is the opposite of the arrogance that often precedes a major self-sabotaging event.


Stepping Away From Self-Harm

Last, but not least, it is important that you fill your days with some meaningful activities. Have a purpose in life. Time spent productively will help you to avoid the self-sabotage behaviors that create risk for your growth in the recovery process.


So, each time you make a decision, you step away from self-sabotage and self-harm. As time moves on, your tolerance for such behavior grows small. You become more comfortable in your sober life. The key to freedom is understanding that you are not powerless against yourself. You have the capacity to choose a better path. This is the truth of self-sabotage in recovery.


Getting Professional Help

Self-sabotage in addiction and recovery will not only delay but could destroy the progress you are making.

Aggressive action is needed. It might seem like psychological warfare. It is usually wise to enlist the aid of a trained professional to deal with this troubling and disruptive behavior. They can help you utilize tools like a self sabotage in recovery worksheets approach.


If you, a friend, or a loved one has identified self-sabotage in behavior while dealing with addiction problems, you can get in touch with the Hotline at your Recovery Center. Discuss the problem and possible solutions. The staff at Chateau Recovery is always available to help you with your questions regarding addiction recovery and treatment. Call anytime.

If you or someone you love has questions concerning the rehabilitation process, call our helpline (801) 877-1272 for more information. Calls are always confidential, private, and secure.

Frequently Asked Questions

• What is self-sabotage in recovery?

Self-sabotage in recovery refers to damaging behaviors, thoughts, or actions that interfere with progress and increase the risk of relapse. It includes actions or patterns that undermine your recovery efforts, such as isolating yourself, thinking negatively, or returning to risky environments.


• How can I prevent self-sabotage in my recovery?

You can prevent self-sabotage by seeking support from family, friends, or counselors. Take a daily inventory of your decisions, build self-belief and self-compassion, and zap your fears by challenging negative thoughts.


• Why do people self sabotage in recovery?

People may self-sabotage in recovery due to deep-seated issues like a fear of success, a fear of failure, or low self-worth. They may unconsciously return to the familiar comfort of the addictive cycle, even though it is painful, because the uncertainty of success feels more terrifying. This is often the answer to why do alcoholics self-sabotage.


• What are some common forms of self-sabotage behaviors?

Common forms of self sabotage behaviors include negative thinking, leading an unhealthy lifestyle, staying isolated, refusing help from others, and giving in to self-pity. Not taking care of physical or mental health needs, like managing anxiety or depression, is also a form of self-sabotage.


• How can I overcome self-pity?

To overcome self-pity, you must stop asking “why this is happening to me” or “what did I do to deserve this.” Self-pity robs you of motivation and anticipation, and it is a way to justify feeling bad without taking positive action. Focus instead on what action you can take right now.

If you or a loved one are struggling with self-sabotage in your recovery journey, we want you to know that you're not alone. Our team at Chateau Health and Wellness Treatment Center understands the challenges you're facing and we're here to help you navigate them. We believe in a collaborative approach to recovery, where we work together to identify and overcome the behaviors that are holding you back. We're committed to providing the support and guidance you need to build a life of lasting sobriety. Please, don't hesitate to reach out to us at (801) 877-1272. We're ready to partner with you on your path to healing and growth.

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About The Author

Ben Pearson, LCSW - Clinical Director

With 19 years of experience, Ben Pearson specializes in adolescent and family therapy, de-escalation, and high-risk interventions. As a former Clinical Director of an intensive outpatient program, he played a key role in clinical interventions and group therapy. With 15+ years in wilderness treatment and over a decade as a clinician, Ben has helped countless individuals and families navigate mental health and recovery challenges.




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