Codependency: Creating Caring Boundaries
- Sep 11, 2023
- 5 min read
Updated: Sep 4
Dealing with a loved one's struggle with addiction is an incredibly difficult challenge, and it's natural to feel lost. Finding the balance between offering support and knowing when to step back is a key part of navigating this situation. The path to a healthier relationship starts with understanding the dynamics of codependency and learning how to prioritize your own well-being.
How can helping someone too much actually be harmful?
When you become overly involved, it can prevent a loved one from experiencing the natural consequences of their actions. This can hinder their own motivation to seek help and take responsibility for their behavior, ultimately perpetuating the cycle of addiction.
If you're wondering whether you're in a codependent relationship, you're in the right place. We'll explore the common red flags like excessive worry, feeling overly responsible for someone else's actions, and neglecting your own needs. Creating boundaries for codependency is a crucial first step. We have more insights and actionable advice on this topic, so keep reading to learn how to restore a healthy balance with the people you love.
How Do You Know When to Help a Loved One and When to Let Go?
Codependency is very common in people suffering from drug or alcohol abuse. When someone we love struggles with addiction, it is difficult to have the wisdom to know when and how to step in and help.
We may wonder when is the right time to let go and when the most effective thing to do is not to be involved. Please look at the following questions and answer them honestly, becoming more aware of personal experiences you’ve had regarding the following points:
Have you ever had this dilemma before, or has your family had this dilemma with you, whether the loving thing is to get involved or to let go?
How can it hurt the loved one if we step in and help too much?
What does it mean to be over-responsible or over-controlling?
What does it mean to let go and let the other person work things out themselves and experience the consequences of their behavior?
Creating Boundaries for Codependency: Signs of Codependency
The following are red flags to look out for in a relationship:
Excessive worry about the person you care about
Trying to control the behavior of the one you care about
Feeling responsible for that person’s behavior
Feeling guilty about not doing enough
Taking over that person’s responsibilities
Covering up what is going on with them
Not taking care of your own needs but spending time and energy helping others get their needs met
Often feeling overwhelmed or inadequate
Frequently feeling fatigued
Making excuses for the person you care for
Frequent anxiety
Frequent sadness
Frequent anger
Healthy self-care is extremely important. Below is a list of self-care strategies.
Let go of trying to control while continuing to be responsible for your part.
Ask for help from others.
Set boundaries for yourself and communicate this with the person you are helping.
Have the courage to let go. When appropriate, let the person experience the consequences of their behavior. Let go of any guilt/shame you may have about doing this.
Accept and be at peace with your limitations.
Develop a strong plan of your own self care (physical, emotional, spiritual).
Forgive yourself for mistakes you have made.
Forgive others for mistakes they have made.
Accept that you can change yourself. You cannot change others. You can influence others.
If you suspect you are in a codependent relationship with someone who is struggling with substance abuse, please contact us. There is hope to restore a healthy balance with those you love.
Frequently Asked Questions
• What does it mean to be over-responsible or over-controlling?
Being over-responsible or over-controlling means taking over another person's responsibilities and trying to manage their behavior.
• What does it mean to let go?
Letting go means allowing the other person to experience the consequences of their actions and letting them work things out for themselves.
• What are some red flags of codependency?
Signs of codependency include excessive worry, trying to control a loved one's behavior, feeling responsible for them, and neglecting your own needs.
• What are some important self-care strategies?
Important self-care strategies include setting boundaries, asking for help, accepting your limitations, and developing a plan for your own physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
• Can I change the person I care about?
You can't change others, but you can change yourself. You can, however, influence others through your own actions and decisions.
The journey through codependency and addiction can feel incredibly isolating, but you don't have to walk it alone. We understand the complex emotions you're facing and the difficult decisions involved in helping a loved one. At Chateau Health and Wellness Treatment Center, we're here to offer our expertise and support. We can guide you in establishing healthy boundaries and rediscovering a sense of balance for both you and your loved one. Our dedicated team is ready to help you navigate these challenges. Please reach out to us at (435) 222-5225—we’re here to support you and your family on the path to healing and hope.
 |  |  |
About The Author
Austin Pederson, Executive Director of Chateau Health and Wellness
Brings over eight years of experience revolutionizing mental health and substance abuse treatment through compassionate care and innovative business strategies. Inspired by his own recovery journey, Austin has developed impactful programs tailored to individuals facing trauma and stress while fostering comprehensive support systems that prioritize holistic wellness. His empathetic leadership extends to educating and assisting families, ensuring lasting recovery for clients and their loved ones.
Danny Warner, CEO of Chateau Health and Wellness
Brings a wealth of experience in business operations, strategic alliances, and turnaround management, with prior leadership roles at Mediconnect Global, Klever Marketing, and WO Investing, Inc. A graduate of Brigham Young University in Economics and History, Danny has a proven track record of delivering results across diverse industries. His most transformative role, however, was as a trail walker and counselor for troubled teens at the Anasazi Foundation, where he directly impacted young lives, a personal commitment to transformation that now drives his leadership at Chateau.
Ben Pearson, LCSW - Clinical Director
With 19 years of experience, Ben Pearson specializes in adolescent and family therapy, de-escalation, and high-risk interventions. As a former Clinical Director of an intensive outpatient program, he played a key role in clinical interventions and group therapy. With 15+ years in wilderness treatment and over a decade as a clinician, Ben has helped countless individuals and families navigate mental health and recovery challenges.
