Keeping Sober – Even When Peers Aren't
- Feb 12, 2022
- 6 min read
Updated: Sep 4
Navigating social situations where alcohol is present can be a significant challenge, but it doesn't have to be a barrier to maintaining your sobriety. We've compiled some of the most effective strategies to help you confidently handle these events and protect your recovery journey.
How can I confidently navigate social events while staying sober?
You can confidently navigate social events by keeping busy, having a clear escape plan, setting expectations with peers beforehand, always having a non-alcoholic drink in your hand, and attending with a sober ally.
Ready to dive deeper into each of these strategies? Continue reading to explore detailed, actionable tips that will equip you to handle any situation with confidence and ensure your sobriety remains your top priority.
How can you maintain sobriety when your friends and peers are drinking?
Maintaining sobriety is a difficult task. Embracing the strategies established throughout recovery is filled with hurdles. Each individual will have to analyze their social outlets and stressors in order to maintain their sobriety.
However, one's closest friends and supports may not have made the same dedication to sobriety, and may still engage with alcohol on an occasional basis. This does not mean that these supports cannot be effective in their roles or understanding and supportive in their position. Although, it does mean that one may have to decide how they will maintain their sobriety even when peers are not doing the same.
Navigating social events where alcohol may be present, such as a traditional Super Bowl party, is an important skill to develop. There are ways for a person to continue protecting and championing their sobriety despite the actions of peers.
Keeping Sober: Keep Mentally and Physically Busy
Keeping busy is the best way to avoid difficult situations. Attending functions where alcohol may be present is a difficult scenario, and urges and cravings may be present. From large weddings to small, intimate gatherings with friends, the presence of alcohol can cause a great amount of stress.
Keeping busy with tasks and responsibilities is instrumental in keeping one's mind off of these substances, while keeping physically busy can ensure an individual always has a task at hand.
Helping with cleaning duties or engaging with sober friends can continue to provide an individual with direction and keep their body and mind occupied and away from the prospect of alcohol. If an individual is hosting their own gatherings, they can also help to moderate games, movies, or any other activities, further adding a degree of purpose and direction to one's time.
Keep an Escape Plan in Mind
Regardless of how confident an individual feels in their abilities to manage their sobriety in high-risk settings, there is never a way to know exactly how they will react in the moment. Having a ready-made escape plan is essential to remove oneself from these scenarios, should it be needed.
Additionally, if an individual has trusted supports ready by the phone to come pick them up or keep their vehicle ready they can remove themselves from dangerous situations. Not only can this continue to help an individual prioritize their hard-earned sobriety, but this feeling of a safety net also promotes a better sense of security. It can help to alleviate excess feelings of stress or anxiety that may otherwise be detrimental to one's health.
Set Expectations Upfront
If invited to a function where alcohol may be present, it is important to set expectations upfront. This means a person must discuss with their peers that they do not intend to drink during the night or throughout the festivities. While one's close friends and supports may be aware of their decision to maintain sobriety, others may still inquire. In these cases, responding with, “I've got an early morning tomorrow,” “I'm driving tonight,” or any other such nondescript excuses should suffice.
By setting these expectations ahead of time, an individual can get ahead of any uncomfortable questions during the event itself, helping to avoid being directly offered a drink in these scenarios. This effectively takes the stress out of the social component of these events. It also ensures that an individual can put more of their time and energy into the parts of the event that they want to focus on.
Keep a Drink in Hand
Another way for an individual to avoid being offered alcohol is to already be holding a drink in their hand. Keeping a virgin drink, or just a soda, in hand can quell any such questions and help avoid being offered alcoholic beverages.
Even while an individual may have learned to turn down drinks, there can still be a great amount of stress that comes with the question. Being offered a drink directly can birth many unwanted urges and cravings to reengage. By keeping one's hands full with a beverage already, these questions can be less impactful.
Go With a Sober Ally
Even if one's friends and peers have not made the same sober decision, attending these parties with a support who has agreed to remain sober for the night can provide a fantastic sense of support and safety. Not only can they act as an additional set of eyes to analyze the potential stressors of the event, but they are also available to help navigate any potentially destructive, feelings that may come up.
Keeping close and constantly communicating with these supports throughout the night can help a person be more mindful of how they are coping, as well as provide a place to confide or enact established escape strategies, if necessary.
Frequently Ask Questions:
• Why is it important to set expectations with friends and peers before an event?
Setting expectations upfront ensures your peers know you don't plan to drink, which can help you avoid uncomfortable questions or being directly offered alcohol during the event.
• What are some simple excuses I can use if someone offers me a drink?
You can use simple, non-descript excuses like, “I'm driving tonight,” or “I have an early morning tomorrow.”
• How can having a drink in my hand help me stay sober?
Keeping a non-alcoholic drink like a soda or a virgin beverage in your hand can prevent others from offering you an alcoholic one, reducing the stress and temptation that comes with being asked.
• Why is it helpful to have an escape plan?
Having a pre-arranged escape plan is crucial because it allows you to quickly and safely remove yourself from a difficult situation if you feel your sobriety is at risk, providing a sense of security.
• What is the benefit of bringing a sober ally to a party?
Bringing a sober ally provides a sense of support and safety. They can help you navigate potential stressors and offer a trusted person to communicate with throughout the event.
We understand that navigating the complexities of sobriety is a unique and often challenging journey. At Chateau Health and Wellness Treatment Center, we are committed to being your partner in this process, offering a supportive environment where you can continue to champion your recovery. Our team is here to provide the personalized strategies and compassionate care you need to thrive. If you are ready to take the next step in securing your well-being, we encourage you to call us at (435) 222-5225. We are dedicated to helping you build a foundation for a successful and lasting recovery.
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About The Author
Austin Pederson, Executive Director of Chateau Health and Wellness
Brings over eight years of experience revolutionizing mental health and substance abuse treatment through compassionate care and innovative business strategies. Inspired by his own recovery journey, Austin has developed impactful programs tailored to individuals facing trauma and stress while fostering comprehensive support systems that prioritize holistic wellness. His empathetic leadership extends to educating and assisting families, ensuring lasting recovery for clients and their loved ones.
Danny Warner, CEO of Chateau Health and Wellness
Brings a wealth of experience in business operations, strategic alliances, and turnaround management, with prior leadership roles at Mediconnect Global, Klever Marketing, and WO Investing, Inc. A graduate of Brigham Young University in Economics and History, Danny has a proven track record of delivering results across diverse industries. His most transformative role, however, was as a trail walker and counselor for troubled teens at the Anasazi Foundation, where he directly impacted young lives, a personal commitment to transformation that now drives his leadership at Chateau.
Ben Pearson, LCSW - Clinical Director
With 19 years of experience, Ben Pearson specializes in adolescent and family therapy, de-escalation, and high-risk interventions. As a former Clinical Director of an intensive outpatient program, he played a key role in clinical interventions and group therapy. With 15+ years in wilderness treatment and over a decade as a clinician, Ben has helped countless individuals and families navigate mental health and recovery challenges.
